Facebook is a huge social media platform in the world with more than 2.45 billion monthly users. That’s a lot of people. Sure, it’s wonderful to be able to keep in touch with loved ones online. It’s as great to catch up with old friends and make new ones.
But do you think Facebook can hurt your relationship? Are couples detaching, arguing, or breaking up due to various Facebook behaviors?
Many relationship experts say yes. They are quite busy counseling disillusioned couples whose relationship has been harmed via social media.
Facebook allows people to connect super easy with anyone. And, they’re often less inhibited and more open to communicate in ways that might not be so pleasing to their partners.
In other words, it’s easier to connect, engage, and maybe even flirt.
It’s easier to take a little risk here or there with those that are on your “I kind of like them” radar. I mean, you probably wouldn’t go up to that hot co-worker and say, “Wow. You’re super hot.” However, you may send him a private message on Facebook letting him know that you certainly notice his “hotness”.
No problem if you’re single, but it can certainly become a problem if you’re in a committed relationship.
Let’s look at some ways that Facebook could hurt your relationship:
You Feel Compelled To Outdo The “Happy Relationship Joneses”
Ever notice how many extremely happy couples are posting picture after picture of just how happy they are on Facebook? Pictures of them doing this and that, along with sweet sentiments?
“Oh, isn’t Johnny the sweetest? He picked me 100 wildflowers.”
“I have the best babe ever. She’s always there for me.”
Only to find out later that the perceived happy couple was miserable. They fought like cats and dogs. The posts were just for show and they ended up breaking up.
Facebook is full of couples who want the world to think their relationship is perfect. You scroll and see so many couples smiling and living the good life. However, you might be sitting there thinking about your own relationship with its struggles. You’re not happy and you wonder why you aren’t feeling like those “happy relationship people”.
So, you feel badly that your relationship is mediocre or fizzled out. Or maybe it’s just good rather than amazing.
It can become frustrating. It can be tough to keep up with the “Happy Relationship Joneses”, so do your best to be uniquely you and not fall for the idealized view of other couples. All relationships encounter challenges at times and that’s alright. If you are struggling, know that you’re not alone and there are counselors who may be able to help.
Scrolling Facebook And Ignoring One Another
Ever spend the evening with your partner on the couch or lying in bed where you’re both scrolling through Facebook? Sure, you may think you are spending quality time together, but that may not be the case. Or maybe your partner is constantly on Facebook and you start feeling neglected. You can become addicted to Facebook, so check yourself to see how much time you’re spending on it. And, how much time you’re investing into your relationship.
Staying Connected With Your Ex
Do you or your partner continue to stay connected to the ex on Facebook? If so, do you have boundaries around it? Have you had a conversation around it? Do you secretly stalk your ex? Are you alright if your partner does?
It’s fairly normal to check up on exes from time to time. This doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. However, if you’re reconnecting secretly, that could cause your relationship some problems.
Sure, sometimes there needs to be some communication with an ex when there are kids involved or if you choose to be friends. However, this could cause a problem with a new partner. It’s a conversation that you may want to have.
The Ex’s Friend Request
If an old flame sends you a friend request, do you automatically accept? Past lovers may ask you to be friends on Facebook and much of the time this doesn’t pose a problem. However, some people begin by getting caught up sending private messages or flirting. That flirting can lead to old feelings popping up, along with excitement. If these things are missing from your current relationship, it could lead you down a risky road with your ex.
Seeking New Flames
Facebook can be the hot spot to seek out new flames if your current relationship isn’t so hot. You may not really want to leave your current relationship, but the thought of getting attention from someone else may become appealing. You may want to skip looking through other profiles looking for the ones you find attractive “just in case”.
This type of behavior isn’t fair to your current partner. Respect yourself, your partner, and your relationship. If things have gone south, have a conversation around this. Relationships take work and investment. Be willing to take the time and effort to keep the flames alive.
Have A Heart To Heart
Do you feel as if Facebook is hurting your relationship? If you think so, have a talk with your partner about it and make some decisions together. Perhaps you can agree to stop being on Facebook so much when you’re together. Put the phone down during mealtimes or when you’re out on a date.
Stop scrolling for an hour or two before bed. Call out your addictive behavior if you’ve given over your life to social media. Give yourselves a time limit and do your best to stick to it. If you are having serious issues, deactivate or delete your Facebook account for a while.
Sure, it’s a great tool, but if you’re struggling with it, you don’t need it around. Your relationship, however, is something you want to have around long-term. And, you want it to thrive, so do what it takes to manifest a wonderful relationship.