We all want to live a good life, right?
More ease and flow and less grief and pain. That’s for sure.
I haven’t always lived the kind of life I truly desire, but I’ve had many moments in the sun. After all, life is a journey on a roller coaster that goes up, down, and all the way around sometimes.
To date, my life is going rather well, but bet and believe it did not get to this point without some trials, pain, tribulations, tests, and some tough lessons.
As we enter this New Year, may we all commit to doing the best we can to create the kind of life we truly desire.
It might not be perfect, as there really is no such thing.
But we stand (or sit) here today and call in more peace, joy, positive experiences, unconditional love, and much more laughter.
To help you create the kind of life you want, here are some helpful insights and tips. I’m right there with you believing for the best for you and your loved ones.
1. Fall Deeper In Love With Yourself
I spent far too long seeking security in other people. It oftentimes left me feeling disappointed and frustrated.
Yes, being loved by others is wonderful, but to solely rely on them for self-worth or full-on security sets you up for disappointment.
My advice? Journey deeper within your own self and fall in love there. If you’re not happy with yourself, make some changes. Reach out to a therapist. Read some personal development books. Start doing some digging to see what’s going on under the surface of your emotional landscape.
Take the necessary steps to reclaim who you truly are – a beautiful, luminous being that has so much potential.
Let the past rest. Wipe your slate clean and nurture yourself in loving ways as you navigate each day.
2. Do Some Excavating
Have you been trying to feel happy, but just feel down and out? Continuing to struggle day after day? Maybe it’s time to do some excavating to see what’s going on under the surface. Maybe there are some negative emotions or old wounds that are wanting you to attend to them – and heal them.
Maybe you’ve been through traumatic situations that literally rewired your brain to gravitate toward the negative.
Good news is that there are many tools, techniques, and healing modalities that can help you with whatever it is that’s causing you undue anxiety, depression, or other issues.
The easy thing to do is numb out, run, escape, or ignore it all. But that won’t get you very far in creating the kind of life you truly desire.
Approach the unearthing of all your beautiful “mess” in several ways. Begin reading some insightful books that pertain to emotional healing or whatever you think is holding you back.
Go see a good therapist for a few a while. Commit to working out things there for a few months or more. There are also support groups you can attend, retreats, workshops, treatment centers, and more.
Excavating takes work, but it’s well worth it! Once you get to the core of yourself- that part of you that is amazing- all that “junk” tends to dissolve. And, you feel much freer.
You know how I know this? I have been there. I got my hands extremely muddy digging through MANY layers of dirt. I clawed my way through a lot of depression, anxiety, anger, shame, fear, bitterness, disappointment, jealousy, insecurity, codependency, and more in order to heal and DISCOVER the real me. The me that is pure, sweet, thoughtful, loving, giving, radiant, and FREE.
I’m not completely healed and whole, but I am enjoying more good days than not-so-good – and that feels great.
3. Commit To Major Changes
One of my favorite mottos is “Nothing changes if nothing changes”. I love this because so often we say we want to change, yet year after year we’re still the same.
Whether it’s living in scarcity, fear, lack, depression, working a job we hate, etc., we show up at the end of the year scratching our heads wondering why not much has changed.
For me, when the pain got great enough, I started making some major changes.
Like ending an unhealthy relationship. Like holing myself up in an apartment for six months journeying inward, meditating, praying, seeking, contemplating, crying, resolving, doing the inner excavating hardcore.
Like stepping out after that and doing things I’d always wanted to do, yet was afraid to do. Like putting aside limited thinking.
The reality is that if you want to see change, YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE SOME CHANGES!
With that being said, grab your notebook and list the kinds of changes you are going to make this year. Make a radical commitment to journeying toward them, and do your best to enjoy the process. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. There are plenty of people ready and willing to help.
4. Adopt A Better, More Positive Mindset
The mindset you have today you can change. If it’s good, you can make it better. If it’s negative, you can make it more positive.
Try not to limit yourself. Refuse to let negative thoughts control your life. Surrender the old stories that don’t serve you anymore.
Start telling a new story – the kind you really want to live out! This is what I’ve been doing the past decade and I can attest to the fact that your thoughts, beliefs, and words MATTER!
Your focus matters. If you’re focusing on things that are negative, you may attract not-so-great things. On the other hand, if you put your focus on things that are positive, you may just attract much more good things in your life. Some refer to this as the law of attraction. Some people think it’s “woo woo”, but give a try for yourself.
Of course, it’s not magical. You don’t just think about something and it pops up out of nowhere.
But what you focus your intent on matters.
Intent can be powerful.
If you continually beat yourself up with thoughts like, “I’m a failure” or “No one likes me”, those thoughts become beliefs. And, those beliefs tend to cause you to speak and act in certain ways that may cause you to fail at something or push people away.
But if you begin changing your mindset, your energy will change. Your vibes can go from negative to more positive. And, rather than fail or push people away, you may find yourself achieving goals and making friends!
5. Ramp Up The Fun In Your Life
I spent a good bit of my life too serious. I remember thinking about how badly I wanted to be free to laugh, be goofy, and even dance! I suppose growing up in a dysfunctional household where I had to walk on eggshells had something to do with this. It’s no fun whatsoever!
Eventually, I’d had enough of the serious life and made a decision to just start having fun. I went from one activity that made me happy to another to another, and so on. I just started doing little things that made me feel happy.
I went for daily walks and runs, as I love to exercise and be out in nature. I made plenty of play dates with my kids. I made friends and we had FUN! I began dancing whenever good music came on! I pet my cat. I painted abstract pictures. I went to coffee shops. Watched comedies. Began working a career I loved. And so much more.
Do you know how amazing that felt? Just loosen up and have some fun – despite whatever is going on in your life?
It felt very good.
So, this New Year, commit to doing more things you enjoy, no matter what your circumstances are. No matter what issues you’re struggling with.
Make time for fun.
Happy New Year!
Here’s to a wonderfully refreshing New Year where you enjoy your life in ways that help you feel more peace and joy along your journey. Here’s to creating the kind of life you truly desire, one step and one day at a time.