Dating can be a rich, exciting experience for many people. Trying to find that special someone through the dating process can take time, effort, and plenty of insight. After all, you want to be sure you’re looking for “red flags” as you get out there and date.
As with any area of life, it’s easy to pick up some bad habits. Dating is no exception. There are plenty of tips and tricks for dating out there. Hopefully, you’ve put some time in to learning how to date, what to look for, and what to shy away from.
Do you think you’ve picked up some bad dating tips?
Here are some attitudes or behaviors that many people would call “bad dating habits”. Have a look to see if you fall into any of these categories. If so, it’s time to do some reprogramming and drop such habits.
The Eager Beaver
While it’s true that many people like to be pursued, they probably want that pursuit to be consistent and steady, rather than fast and furious. If you act like an eager beaver going a mile a minute in pursuit of that “interest”, it might just send them running.
For example, let’s say you think this particular person is the ONE for you. You shift right into high gear and rev up your engine to the max. You’re off and in a hurry!
The thing with this type of speed is that many people can sniff out this “eager beaver” or desperate behavior and it tends to freak them out. They may feel that clinginess, ultra-neediness, etc. and pull away. While you may like this person, check yourself on your pace pursuing them. If you’ve had a history of coming on too strong, take a step back and evaluate the situation.
Slow down. Allow the dating process to progress incrementally at a pace both of you are comfortable with. Sure, you can show interest and get the momentum going. Just do it consciously at a steady pace.
Letting Life Pass You By
This is for you if you’ve been single for a while and have been so preoccupied with dating that you’ve lost some of yourself in the dating process. You scour the internet every day for potential mates. You chat, email, and video chat. You may go on multiple dates per week or month.
While all this is fine and dandy, you may be letting your individual life fly by without realizing it.
Have you been so focused on getting a partner that you’ve lost sight of YOU?
Have you lost sight of having fun solo and with friends or family?
Have you quit doing things you used to love doing, such as hobbies, attending events, etc.?
Yes, get out there and date, but don’t lose sight of yourself along your journey.
The Same Old Routine
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I’ve always loved this saying, because it’s just so true.
If you’ve been doing the same thing month after month or year after year and getting the same undesired results, perhaps it’s time to do something different.
If you desire to find that special someone this year, you may have to change things up some in order to break up that stale, same ole’ energy.
Just going to work every day might not be enough to find you that special person. Visiting the same restaurant each week where you know everyone by name might not land you that date either. If you’ve fallen into the same old dating routine, try changing it up.
If you’ve only been trying to meet people online, get involved in some community activities. If you’ve only been going to work and the grocery store, try online dating. Do whatever you can to meet new faces.
If the pandemic is still an issue, check into Zoom video meetups or Facebook Groups. There are plenty of ways to meet new people. Make a list today of how you’re going to make some changes in your life to see some new potentials.
Ignoring Red Flags
Ignoring red flags is a bad dating habit. Many people can look back at old relationships and see just how many reg flags they failed to identify. Or, if they did see them, they were secretly thinking, “Oh, I can change them.”
But ignoring red flags can cause a lot of problems and pain down the road.
What are some red flags to be on the lookout for?
- Addiction to alcohol or drugs
- Crossing boundaries
- Vastly different values
- They just got out of a relationship (too soon, you are the rebound)
- They roll their eyes at you (Yes, it’s a real red flag)
- They say that every failed relationship was their ex’s fault. They take no responsibility.
- The call you names.
- They have very little work ethic
- They are mean to their mom or dad (or others)
- They invade your privacy, including social media, phone, computer, etc.
- They twist the truth to make you think you’re cray-cray
- They make fun of you
- They clearly have no intention to commit to you
These are just some red flags to be on the lookout for. Don’t let the logical, rational part of your brain go offline during the dating phase. Be on the lookout and if you see a red flag, address it and/or keep it moving onto someone else.
Settling For Less Than You Desire
You don’t have to settle for someone who is not a good match for you. Even if you’re tired of being single, be sure that the majority of your values and goals line up. Some people get really tired at navigating life single, so they attach to the first person that comes their way bearing attention (or gifts). They ignore red flags or just settle for someone who they view as “alright”.
Slow it down and really take some time to get to know each other. Hold out for that person who you can truly love and feel secure with. The one that will cherish you, desire to commit for the long haul, and treat you with respect. You deserve to have a partner that’ll have your back and vice versa.
You’ll thank yourself later on down the road.
Positive Dating Habits
Did you recognize yourself in any of these habits?
If so, do your best to knock them out of your life. Detox from habits that don’t serve you or keep you feeling heavy. Dating is a wonderful opportunity to learn valuable lessons about you, others, and life in general.
Stay optimistic and do your best to enjoy the process.